Is He the "One"?

The main goal of this blog is to encourage and teach younger woman in the faith (Titus 2). I know a few young ladies who have recently become engaged or married. This morning I spent some time emailing back and forth with young lady I just met, and she is struggling with the decision to marry or not. So, I thought it would be a good idea to talk about the marriage decision.

The decision to marry is the second most important commitment a Christian can make. Why? Because God ordained marriage to reflect his relationship with the Church. So, He is serious about it. Considering the high rate of divorce between Christians is it any wonder that the world does not see Christ love for the church. It is my conviction that if Christian marriages improve, then the church improves and if the church improves, then marriages improve.

The first step in improving the marriages is to choose well. Actually, the opportunity to choose is not that old of a concept and is a very western idea. But that is another discussion. Here are some steps I believe are biblical and will help you choose well.

• Keep your relationship pure. When the Word says, "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral." Hebrews 13:4 God means it! Your marriage bed can not be pure if you are sexually active with your future husband before marriage. When you are active, your decision abilities are dull. There are too many emotions that cloud your intelligent when sex is involved. PLUS, it is not what God wants from you.
• Know your Word. Study what the role of a husband is in the family. Is this the guy that can do it? If you are making excuses for some things and allowing the present day culture to form you thoughts then please seek God's Word. Is there a perfect man - NO! But be honest with yourself, is he striving to be a future biblical husband. ALSO, study what your role as a wife is. Are you ready for marriage? Is this the man you will be able to submit and let lead the family?
• Ask your parents. It does not matter if you are 18 or 40, your parents should be honored. Ask them how they feel about him AND listen. Do not get defensive. Remember, they know you best. If you have an estrange relationship or your parents do not have Christian views then also seek out an older woman in the church you can talk to about him and marriage.
• Know and understand the marriage vows:
  "To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness."
  When you are in a relationship you only want to think about the better, richer, in health part of your vows. BUT there is the other side: worse, poorer, and in sickness. Take time to think about what is the worse thing that could happen, what would poorer look like, and what is the sickest one of us could get. Then be honest with yourself and ask, "Is this the Christian man you can stand with through all of these things? AND is he the man who will stand with you?"

If you are thinking about making a marriage decision I encourage you to find an "older" woman in the church (who has been married at least 15 years) who will hold you accountable, and will teach you about marriage. Remember, it is a life-changing decision, but if you choose well it will make for a more joyful future. God Bless.